You've seen the Milwaukee's Best commercial where there are several guys standing around and a small dog walks up. One of the guys walks over to the dog and starts talking to it and asks the dog (in “baby talk”) "Do you want me to rub your little belly?" At that point a giant-sized beer can falls from the sky and crushes the guy. The announcer then says - "Men should act like men!"Maybe I am sinful in thinking such thoughts, but there is a part of me that wants to duplicate this same commercial for the hypothetical small group in my blog entry on February 27th. Instead of a giant-sized beer can falling from the sky, there would be a giant-sized grail (a holy one at that – I need some religious symbolism here) that would fall (in Monty Python fashion) and crush Myron (and while I’m at it, add a few more grails for men who ONLY pray in wispy voices. As an aside here, I’ve never understood why some people only equate soft voices with “reverence” during prayer, yet some of those same people feel the need to “scream” at God during a “contemporary” worship that should be partially, if not primarily, “reverent”).
Now, I know what you’re going to say. I am being judgmental. I am showing a lack of compassion for those who struggle. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to encourage and build up someone rather than to tear them down? And you could argue that I am doing what I typically rail against – and that is completely condemning someone/something that has both good and bad aspects to them/it throwing the baby out with the bath water. But you would most likely argue not only that, but also that what I am criticizing (Christian counseling) is predominantly a good thing in its current state.
Is my attitude sympathetic? No. Is my attitude compassionate? No (unless you are thinking primarily about the welfare of the other people in the group who would have to tolerate such behavior – sorry, that slipped out). What would Jesus do? Would he give Myron the General George Patton slap across the face or would he give him the Stewart Smalley “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone people like me” lecture?
Now, obviously, a Patton response and a Smalley response are the two extreme ends of the spectrum – neither or which would be completely appropriate. So truth (and the proper response) must lie somewhere in the middle. The question is which response, Patton or Smalley, is more likely to resemble the proper response? And, depending on what conclusion I come to, am I standing up for Christian manhood or am I standing up for what some call a false sense of manhood? Hold that thought! I’ll get back to this (although it may not be until the next blog entry).
1980’s – THE ADVENT OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELING
When I reference Christian counseling, my mind pretty much gravitates toward self-help books that are readily available on the market. But actual Christian counselors are included in my thinking as well as there has also been a rise in the number of Christian counselors over the past two decades.I remember being in IVCF at Appalachian State University when I was first exposed to Christian Counseling. It was around this time that Larry Crabb became prominent as his book Encouragement seemed to take off in IVCF circles and many of his lecture series were produced. This book, as well as other of his works like The Marriage Builder and Inside Out, looked into the emotional and psychological aspect of Christian and human behavior. Crabb provided insight into how we think and why we feel and respond the way we do. He provided people hope at becoming more like who God created them to be. Crabb provided people a practical means by which to better themselves through self-awareness. Crabb provided a means by which people could deal with their hurt.
I personally benefited greatly from Crabb’s writings. As I’ve alluded, I grew up Wesleyan. Although I still struggle from the guilt produced from “hell fire and brimstone” preaching, IVCF provided to me the balancing weight of “grace”. Coupling the ideas of a “holy and transcendent God” learned from my Wesleyan roots with the “loving and immanent God” of IVCF, as well as the well founded education in Scripture from my Wesleyan roots, provided a sturdy foundation from which to grow spiritually. I was finally finding balance in my spiritual life. I fully believe that all three of these elements were necessary to provide a necessary foundation for my Christianity. A foundation from which Christian counseling could build upon.
Like all things that seem to catch on, Crabb (as well as other Christian counselors of the time) was “scratching an itch” (in a good way). He evaluated where Christians were at that time and tried to take them further down the road of personal sanctification. This is not an uncommon occurrence. There are always people who are re-evaluating the state of the church and trying to move it and people in directions that have seemingly been neglected. Like new attempts to mobilize the laity into evangelism and ministry, the advent of Christian counseling was an attempt to move people into a deeper understanding of themselves emotionally with the intent being the sanctification of those emotions. If we could understand ourselves and our emotions better, then we might be able (through the implied aid of the Holy Spirit) to change harmful behavioral patterns that hampered spiritual growth.
25 YEARS LATER
But something just doesn't seem right to me these days. Today it feels like Christian counseling is not being used as an aid to the Spirit, but rather as a replacement for the Spirit itself. And as such, the primary goal seems to more and more be gradually shifting from sanctification through the work of the Spirit to saving ourselves through a self-sanctification process of self-awareness that seeks less and less of the Spirit. If this is true, are we in essence unwittingly trying to become gods unto ourselves as we solely rely on what our self-awareness tells us? And this raises numerous other questions. Has Christian counseling (in its good intentions) sometimes created an atmosphere where the emphasis is on “me” rather than “God”? Have we in any way created a new subtle commandment that trumps loving God first and loving people second - a new commandment that says – “love me first”? Can it sometimes create a mindset that says I have to fix “me” before I can properly live as God wants me to live? Is it more biblical to act on what God commands before we are “emotionally” ready (allowing God to show us our shortcomings in the process as we fail and ask forgiveness) or wait until we have personally fully understood our emotions and sin and overcome them, and only then engage in what Christ commands? In other words, does Christ call us to obeying through sanctification or sanctification through obeying? And is this just another way we attempt to clean ourselves up before we come to God? Are God’s primary goals for us to understand our emotions and our hurt?
If any of this is true, then how did something intended for good (Christian counseling) that has helped myself and many others, become an instrument for unintended evil? I know the term evil sounds strong here, but if the focus is “me” and not “God”, then I am an idol as I have forged a golden “me” in my image. I think there may be two problems. Secondarily, I certainly think Christian counseling has some faults and areas it needs to question itself on as well as some inherent pitfalls, but I think the primary problem might lie elsewhere. There was nothing inherently good or bad with the gold that went into making the golden calf. And, similarly, it may not be Christian counseling that is the primary problem here, but rather what a similarly “ignorant” and “uninformed” people have “fashioned” with it.
To Be Continued… NEXT: WHERE THINGS MIGHT HAVE GONE WRONG
