Well, we have returned from the semi-finalist round of the contest in Chicago and suffice it to say that we were like a "deer in the headlights". We were totally caught off guard by the entire interview process. It was pretty intimidating. We could not have been prouder of Garrison - the poor guy looks like he is 11 even though he is only 8 so the judges talked to him like he was 11 (Garrison later asked what some of the words they used actually meant). We were all "miked" up and videoed and asked numerous questions. But, again, Garrison took the brunt of it. They interviewed him by himself under the lights and cameras. They asked him to do such things as taking 7 objects (completely unrelated objects) and asked him to make up a story including all 7 of them. They asked him to do several agility drills to see how athletic he was. And then lastly he had to put on a two minute talent show of which he chose to do scooter tricks and tell jokes. The judges had an agenda, were matter of fact, and even though it was pretty rigorous, before you knew it you were out the door wondering what you just actually said and did. We were disappointed that we did not get selected as one of the 5 finalists, but we can certainly understand what they were looking for and we felt blessed to have won a trip to Chicago. But suffice it to say that this entire contest "process" was an interesting and invaluable experience for us in numerous ways. The most obvious being first time experiences for our kids (like riding on an airplane, taking a taxi, and commuting on the Chicago subway lines), and in getting to see a city of which we probably would never have had occasion (nor the money) to visit. But the most interesting experience for me was the emotional experience that reminded me about myself (and/or maybe reminded me of how I tend to think and operate as a human being).
The nature of this contest brought out my "competitiveness". Ask anyone who has played fantasy football with me (this might be a future post/confession?) and they will tell you how competitive I am - it's in my blood! This goes with most any game of skill in which I participate. Most contests you enter and wait to see if you have won. They are not the type where you can actually see other entrants and then actually meet them. This contest was unique in this sense. When I can put a face on (and thus identify) other entrants, then I can (and will) immediately turn that entrant into a competitor and myself into one as well. I had to fight the tendency to want to compare my family to someone else's. In this, it became easy to want to accentuate the good aspects of my family over and above another family's. I have this inner drive to win! As if winning somehow would validate my family's self-worth (or really, I should say my own self-worth). The funny thing is that we met several of these "competitor families" during this semi-final round and it was amazing how wonderful allot of these families seemed to us. Or should I say it was amazing at how "perceived cold and calculating competitors from a distance" turned into "actual up close and personal warm and friendly people".
Sometimes You Need To Look At Things From A Different Angle
During our trip, we were able to go into downtown Chicago. While my wife and daughter were at the American Girl Doll Place, Garrison and I went off to do "manly" things like eating lunch in the recliners at ESPN Zone. One other thing we did was to go to the top of the John Hancock Building which is currently the 4th tallest building in the US. We had a tremendous view of the Chicago skyline and Lake Michigan. Things certainly looked different from a panoramic view than they did at street level.
The emotions I experienced with this contest which wanted to lead me down the road of wanting to compare my family with other families were pretty easy to mentally overcome to regain a proper perspective. But I know that allot of times in everyday life, there are more difficult times where I have to step back from emotional situations and take a cognitive look at what actually is going on. I think most of us find it difficult in the heat of certain moments to rise above the noisy, emotional "street level" to gain a more quiet, mental and all encompassing panoramic view of how this particular "moment" fits into the greater scheme of things.
During times of discontent, it becomes easy to compare ourselves to other people and, in doing so, we can turn "life" into a "contest" using other people (other families) as the measuring stick for our own lives. In my insignificant little example, my emotions wanted to tell me that there were 5 families who were more worthy than mine - 5 families who were more "successful" than my family. Of course, what my emotions are actually asking here is "why are we not as successful as other families?" And if we take this a step farther, what my emotions are really, really asking is - "why are other families more successful in ways I deem successful, that I do not think my family is successful?" That's really what is being asked. And here lies the rub of the problem. Our emotions tend to make us compare ourselves to those who we think are doing better than us with most probably an ill conceived notion in our heads of what "success" actually is - which (by default) is "success" as we ourselves have defined it. This all starts to happen the minute we take our eyes off of Christ and start looking at others.
Now, my example here obviously (in and of itself) has insignificant meaning in the grander scheme of things and is easily put into proper perspective. But there are situations that merit greater effort to put things into proper perspective that may take longer to rise above the situation: being laid off from your job, rejection by a spouse, rejection from your children, death of a family member, etc... What I am ultimately getting at here is that no matter the level of severity of the situation, there is always the overriding question of "What is God's purpose and what is He doing?" I don't know if you can properly evaluate any situation without first asking this question. We as humans love to compare ourselves to "something". We have to know how we "stack up" as if this gives us "significance". This was the problem of the Pharisees who used the observance of the law as their "measuring stick" and as a means for them to feel good about themselves. We do the same everyday when we compare ourselves to others - regardless of whether we do this with trivial circumstances (such as trying to win a contest) or less trivial circumstances (why was I laid off as opposed to someone else). In doing this, we put actions and circumstances on center stage. We try and gain self-esteem by looking "at" others when we should be looking "to" Christ. Living becomes all about us and who we are as opposed to who God is and what He is doing to redeem the world and mankind. I am not saying that we should suck it up, grin and bear it, pull ourselves up by the boot straps and get over it and hide our emotions (well, I might be with trivial stuff), but rather to feel the emotion at street level and also rise above that emotion to properly understand that there is a God and He is doing something wonderful here regardless of the level of discontent, hurt and/or tragedy.
I've sort of rambled, but what I guess I am trying to say in a "less well thought out and less intricate way" (which is not like me) and more "stream of consciousness" kinda way is that in a "me" focused society, it has become increasingly more difficult to keep the panoramic view to maintain a Kingdom perspective and to constantly have my mind renewed having at the forefront of my mind that God is fulfilling His purposes and moving mankind closer and closer to heaven. This became evident to me during a "trivial" contest. I hope it becomes evident to me when "less trivial and more trying" events come - which they most certainly will.
